Kindness Matters

What I’m about to tell you is a true story.

It is a story of a school that is like any other. Every day, remarkable things happen there, as they do in schools across the land. They are remarkable because they are ordinary and unnoticed. They are remarkable because they go unmentioned despite making a huge difference to people’s lives.

I want you to picture this school; it serves a deprived area where unemployment is all too common and many families live their lives trying to climb above the poverty line. The parents it serves try their best and want the best for their children. Some of them, some of the time, need help to support themselves and their children. Sometimes they need food, sometimes they need clothes. Sometimes they can’t afford to give their children birthday or Christmas presents. Sometimes they need support with their mental health or with managing addictions.

The staff at the school care deeply for their children and their community. Everyone works hard, everyone ‘goes the extra mile.’ They do what it takes to give the children what they need, to be a safe and happy place for them to spend their time. They work hard to engage with the parents and try not to take it personally when they are at the wrong end of someone's anger, because they know that it isn’t meant personally, sometimes people are anxious and scared and emotions come out in a way that’s not intended. They do this because they care. They do this because they are kind.

If I were to tell you some of the stories from the children’s lives I might bring you to tears. Some of the children have faced more trauma than anyone should ever experience. There are children who have lost parents to tragic accidents and suicide, there are children who have lived a life of daily abuse before finally being rescued to live in safety and start the long road to recovery, there are children who still live with that abuse that the school are ever vigilant in trying to find. The staff understand, they know the pain and sorrow that has filled these young hearts.

The staff are patient and understanding. They give these children a safe place to be. They understand that when the children behave in a way that might not be desired it is a form of communication-the children are telling them of their needs in the only way they know how. There is a behaviour policy, of course there is. It is applied consistently and fairly. The children get the message loud and clear about what is expected and what is acceptable. They are encouraged to treat each other with respect and kindness. The staff model this with their own behaviour. The staff show compassion and are forgiving of children who struggle with the expectations because they understand that by treating them with patience and kindness they will eventually learn. These children grow to trust the adults that work with them and begin to feel safe and begin to calm and begin to behave in a way that is considerate to others around them.

This school is a happy place, it is a safe place. The majority of children leave the school having reached the age related expectations, for what it is worth. They achieve this because the staff refuse to give up on them, refuse to see the barriers in their life as an excuse for them not to achieve. Instead they help the children overcome these barriers in whichever way they can. This is a team effort, it starts from the day the children enter the school. But more important than these arbitrary government dictated measures of attainment, the children also leave the school with other learning, not so readily measured. They learn to be resilient, they learn to be positive, they learn to be creative, they learn to be kind. The local high school is always pleased to receive children from this school because they are polite and well mannered, they are hard working and caring. They embody the values that will help them be successful in life.

To work in this school, and many others like it, you need to be resilient. It isn’t always an easy place to work. Some of the families it serves face immense challenges just trying to get through the day. And the staff of the school are often the people who are the first to respond when the pieces of shattered lives need putting back together. This school achieves remarkable things. What is the secret of its success? I have said it many times. I have threaded it through the narrative.

Kindness.

It costs nothing to be kind.

It costs nothing but buys a lot.

Through the kindness and dedication of these remarkable people in this remarkable place, the lives of countless children are made better. Children who have no advantages in life. Children who society doesn’t deem to notice in anything but statistics about poverty and deprivation. Children these staff see as people, with lives that matter, who they refuse to give up on because they deserve their chance at life.

This is a true story and about a remarkable school which is as ordinary as many others. It’s work goes on unrecognised and unnoticed by a media who are quick to criticise and condemn while they don’t take the time to look at what actually happens.

This school, like many others, is a happy and safe place that transforms lives.

It is a school that knows this essential truth:

Kindness matters.