Choices

The choices we make in life are what defines who we are. Choices aren’t just in our actions but they are in our thoughts as well.

When I talk to teachers that I have mentored about behaviour I always talk about choices. I remind them that if a child isn’t behaving the way they want then talk about bad choice of behaviour, I encourage them to associate the child with being an essentially good person that they like who just happens to be making a bad choice in behaviour.

But what I also remind them, and I speak to children about this as well, is that if they are not happy with the way someone else is behaving then the only thing they can do is change their own behaviour. The only person we have any direct control over is ourselves, the only way we can influence the world around us is through our behaviour; so if you want to change the way the children in your class behave (or the way other people react to you) then you must choose to behave differently-that way they may react differently.

This is a really useful way to think when you aren’t happy with how a child is behaving or with how you are being treated by a colleague-you can choose to act and think the same way you always have and therefore get the same results or you can choose to think an act differently in which case you may get different results. Einstein said that ‘insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.’ By choosing to behave in a different way you are taking some control over the situation and the consequences of your choices may be different.

I think this view on choices also relates to the way we think. Our minds are incredibly powerful things and choosing to think positively can have a huge benefit to our health. It isn’t always easy to do and it’s not something I’m always successful at but it is something that I have learnt to get better at as I have got older. I have experienced some very low times in my life where my mental health was affected and it felt like I was alone in the world, but learning to deal with that and recovering from that has taught me a lot and given me the confidence that I can react positively to difficult times.

This quote sums up what I feel about dealing with difficult changes to my life.

Another thing I advise new teachers is to choose who you surround yourself with, choose positive people, people who will support you when you are down, who will remind you of the good in your life. When I am down I remind myself that there is nothing wrong with feeling this way, ‘it is ok, not to be ok,’ it’s not healthy to wallow in self pity however and this just leads to a vicious cycle of negativity.

When I am feeling down I do things that I know will help me to feel better-I choose to actively refocus my mind on positives: that may just be taking time to notice the small things around me that I am grateful for like birdsong and the sun shining in my garden, that may be doing activities that allow me to ‘not think’ for a while like running or playing my guitar, that may be talking to the people who are supportive and positive who I know will light up my day. But whatever I choose that that particular moment it is a conscious choice to find positivity.

I made a choice to write today knowing I didn't have much time to dedicate to it but I am determined to keep finding time to write. For me, it is a good habit to get into, it is positive and it is enriching. I am going to end with a quote from the late, great Maya Angelou which relates to how we choose to think.